Let me start this post by saying that frequent business travel can put a strain on marriage as easily as it can make it great. There are several factors at play and how you approach this lifestyle is key.
If you are parenting small children, have a critical illness, or are generally going through a difficult time, being apart frequently can only make things more stressful. Not being able to join your spouse on travel from time-to -time would also make life difficult.
We’ve had our ups and downs as the result of Steve’s frequent travel, but overall, I think it’s made our marriage better. Here’s how.
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We don’t take our relationship for granted
Usually, Steve and I are apart for a week at a time, but we’ve been apart up to three weeks. When he’s doing a stretch of back-to-back trips it can be tough. There have been times when it’s been lonely for both of us and put a strain on our relationship. But it also gives us a regular dose of what life would look like if we didn’t have each other. I think we pay attention to our relationship more because of that. We recognize that it’s not easy to be apart so much so we make sure not to let things slide. If something’s bugging one of us, we try to address it quickly.
One of the reasons I started Tag Along Travel was because Steve wanted me to come on more of his trips. He had recently changed jobs to one that would have him travelling more regularly and I think we were both concerned about how that would affect us. Although I can tag along more than the average person because I’m self-employed in my PR practice, generating a bit of income from this blog would increase my ability to join him more often. It’s a way to try to make the situation work for us.
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It keeps things fresh
If you’re never apart, it’s hard to miss each other. The old expression, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” is actually true. I always look forward to driving to the airport to pick Steve up when he’s returning home. Even though we’re in touch daily we usually have some catching up to do and stories to tell each other. Being apart keeps things interesting.
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Planning travel together is exciting
Whether it’s for a tag-along trip or for vacation, travel planning is fun. Steve does all the boring (in my mind) flight, hotel/rental booking, and I look for interesting things to see and do at our destination. It’s always great to have a project that brings you together as a couple.
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Tagging along can be romantic
Even when it’s business travel, getting away somewhere different puts you in a different frame of mind. You’re surrounded by the unfamiliar, you’re jetting off together and you’re generally untethered from the usual routine. We’re much more likely to be in a vacation/romantic mood when travelling.
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Tag-along travel has made me more confident
Not that I’ve ever been the clingy type, but I used to rely on Steve way too much when we first started travelling together. He did all the navigating and on-the-ground decision-making and I just followed along. It was really easy for me, and a bit stressful for him. Now that I tag along on business travel, I have to go it alone most of the time or I’d be stuck in a hotel room a lot. I’ve become a better planner, navigator (thanks Google Maps!) and generally, a more independent traveller. This has made travelling together more pleasant for both of us. It’s certainly been a huge confidence-builder for me.
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We’ve had to get creative
We’re always looking for ways to connect when we’re not physically together. If it weren’t for frequent business travel, we would never have tried virtual dating, or that crazy Couple app. It can be fun to try new things and generally, these experiences have kept us playful and brought us closer.
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[…] 6 Relationship Benefits of a Spouse’s Frequent Business Travel […]
I think I’m the only one that grow more attach to my husband the more we are together and miss him less when we are apart. is that weird? it’s like I forget how much he means to me when he’s not around. plus I have 1 toddler and a 4 year old.. great post!!
I don’t think that’s weird Jasmine, especially when you have two little ones to tend to. You likely have next to no time to reflect on your relationship with a busy day-to-day schedule. Also, many couples who are apart for a period of time on a regular basis have to adjust each time they reunite on the home front. When you’re apart you get into a routine that doesn’t involve accommodating your spouse so upon his/her return you have to get used to having that other person around again. Thanks so much for dropping in with comments on your own experience and I hope you’ll do so on other posts as well. Cheers!