As the spouse of a frequent business traveller, I’m used to occasionally attending social events alone and dealing with household repairs, maintenance, and minor crises on my own. That’s the downside to being married to a road warrior. I’ve always said that the perks make up for it. But, when a family medical crisis arises, and your spouse is thousands of kilometres away, going it solo sucks on a much higher level.
When frequent business travel really sucks
From early January to the end of February this year, Steve’s business travel meant that he would be home a total of about two weeks. That kind of travel schedule usually triggers the decision for me to tag along for some of the time regardless of the destination. I planned to meet Steve in the Netherlands for a couple of weeks.
The day before my flight, my mom had a medical emergency, and in an instant, I exchanged my plans to work remotely while indulging in a little Dutch culture on the side for daily hospital visits.
Steve suggested he return home, but the work he had scheduled was important and given that my mom was receiving excellent health care, there wasn’t much to do other than wait for test results and stay by her bedside. I told him to carry on with his trip.
It was the right decision, but honestly, there were a few times that I just wanted him to hug me or be available for me to share my thoughts and fears as they arose. We spoke every day, but the seven-hour time difference and his tight work schedule meant that he wasn’t always available when I needed to talk. He often only had time for a call at the end of his day. I was concerned about keeping him up late. Sometimes he sounded as exhausted as I was.
For his part, Steve was feeling that he was letting me down. He wanted to be “there for me.” We had planned a weekend getaway to Brussels on this trip, which we cancelled. Steve instead spent the weekend on his own in Amsterdam wishing I was there (or he was at home) and worrying about how my family and I were doing.
This was our worst experience of frequent business travel to date. I never anticipated the particular scenario we found ourselves in these past weeks.
On the other hand, I learned that I was emotionally strong enough to handle a crisis like this independently and that I could rely on my family members for practical and emotional support. I think my siblings, nieces and I become closer as a result.
As always, difficult situations often have something to teach us. At times of emotional distress, there is no replacement for the person you are most intimately connected to, but sometimes going it alone with the help of others will get you through it.
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Sometime hugs are Magical. Even more so when you really need one. Thank you for keeping me in the loop. We are enjoying a warm day in Palm Desert finally. You are in MY thoughts as well.
It’s good you have family around for support and that you can at least talk with Steve daily, even if the timing isn’t when you most need it. Thinking about you and your Mom.
Thanks, Donna. I can’t imagine what these last couple of weeks would have been like 20 or so years ago in the days of expensive long distance calls and no video chats.