When Steve’s travelling and I stay behind, my weeks go quickly because I’m working, but the weekends can be a challenge. That’s when we usually do couple stuff. This past week Steve was in Amsterdam, and I had a stay-behind weekend to myself. I decided to indulge in being alone. It was terrific.
Why I stayed behind instead of Tagging Along
I didn’t tag along to Amsterdam because it wasn’t a long trip, and although I adore the country, I’ve tagged along to the Netherlands several times. I opted to stay behind. Usually, that means I make plans with girlfriends or invite my nieces over for dinner, but this time, I needed a break. After December’s holiday activity, a quick jaunt to Toronto to visit family over New Years, and a workweek that involved ramping up on a few new projects, this introvert was feeling depleted.
To be truthful, in the days leading up to Steve’s departure, I was looking forward to a weekend by myself. Really by myself. No socializing, no obligations. Well, I did post a few Instagram stories and tweets, but that’s not really socializing, is it?
Being Alone is Good Sometimes
I know extroverts might not get this, but for me, spending a couple of days by myself feels like a warm bath when your muscles are aching. It’s sublime after a lot of activity. That’s the hallmark of introversion. We need time away from people and socializing to recharge, whereas extroverts become more energized by interacting. But even those falling further towards the extroversion side of the scale can benefit from alone time.
We are plugged in all the time today. World news is constantly in our faces, and lately, it’s been pretty anxiety-provoking. We’re never far from work demands, thanks to our accessibility through digital channels. Sometimes, even social engagements can feel like an obligation. If you have kids multiply all the activity and demands by 10. Life is fast.
A do-nothing weekend forces us to slow down – maybe think a little. Get a grip on the bigger picture of our lives.
I understand this is a luxury. For many people who are navigating parenting, hectic work schedules, elder care, and other demands taking a weekend for oneself may seem as likely as winning the lottery. But, even scaled back to an afternoon or a few hours, alone time has benefits.
My Home Alone Weekend
Waking up Saturday to a crisp Winnipeg winter morning had me feeling almost giddy. I stretched out in bed and stared at the ceiling for a bit before getting up to make coffee. I wondered how Steve’s flight went and whether he’d bought shoes yet (Amsterdam is his go-to spot for indulging his footwear obsession). I’d chat with him later on FaceTime. It was time to start my weekend.
So, what did I do? OK, while many of you might have chosen to go for a massage, a quiet walk, maybe indulge in a spa or spa-at-home day, I had a different course charted. Here’s how it went down:
Saturday
- Read the paper and drank coffee while listening to some laid-back jazz
- Bundled up and went for a walk/run in the sunny cold. I’m still struggling to fully recover from knee problems, but I’m determined to keep running. This run felt almost the way running did before my injury. It was glorious.
- Cleaned out my kitchen cupboards and gave away three boxes of stuff we don’t use to Goodwill. Getting rid of stuff makes Steve anxious. This was my opportunity!
- Had a Facetime call with Steve. No shoes yet but was working on it. Avoided talk of the things I got rid of in the kitchen.
- Made an epic pizza from scratch and put tuna on it as one of the toppings. Whenever I suggest this to Steve, he says, “Yuck, no tuna on pizza!” It was delicious.
- Watched Game Night on Netflix. It was just ok, but that was ok.
Sunday
- Wash, rinse, repeat on the morning routine with the newspaper and jazz.
- Did a weight training workout listening to one of my favourite podcasts, The Sporkful – without earphones because I had the condo to myself.
- Exchanged several text messages with Steve. He showed me a photo of the new boots he bought (I think he already has a pair very similar – geez).
- Cleaned my oven, which I’ve been dying to do for weeks. I even took the knobs off and scoured those! Yep, I am on the obsessive side when it comes to cleaning, but I do my best thinking and reflecting when I’m scrubbing or walking. I need to move my body to calm my mind. I can’t be the only one like that. Am I?
- Did a small amount of work that I didn’t finish off on Friday.
- Wrote this blog post. I’ve been a little neglectful of the blog lately but resolved that’s ok.
- Made a traditional Sunday meal (including Brussel sprouts, which Steve dislikes) and watched While We’re Young on Netflix. Better than Game Night, if you ever have to decide between the two. Why would you? There are a bazillion titles on Netflix.
Boring is Good
This was the best weekend! For me. Stifle that pitying chuckle. It contained so many things that make me happy. It was active, productive, quiet. No parties, no people, no compromise. It had me feeling ready to face the world again and looking forward to Steve’s return.
Does your spouse travel for work? How do you spend your time if you don’t tag along?
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I agree 100%. Boring can be great. As full time travelers we are around each other almost 99% of every waking hour, so we both look forward to our yearly solo travels. Frank goes full speed on his alone time and I just like to have a base where I can just relax,do normal stuff (gym,yoga, reading etc…) and just slow down and be with my own thoughts. Like you said, it’s the best way to re-energize the mind,body and soul.
Ah, kindred spirits! When you’re together all the time, it’s important to take the time apart to miss each other. 🙂