Sharon and Jeff have shared a life and hectic travel schedules since 2008. When they met, they both travelled for work frequently and at times literally passed each other in the air either arriving or departing from their home province of Newfoundland and Labrador. Sometimes they’d meet up in the terminal between flights resulting in Sharon affectionately referring to Jeff as her “airport boyfriend.” Today, it’s primarily Jeff’s work that has him travelling the world. Here’s my conversation with Sharon on what life is like when you’re the spouse of a frequent business traveller.
This is the first in an occasional series of Tag-Along Traveller Profiles. If you’re the spouse of a frequent business traveller and would like to share your insights in a future post, drop me a line.
Tag-Along Traveller: Sharon Beattie
No kids, no pets, just travel
Deb: What kind of work has you and Jeff travelling so much?
Sharon: I don’t do very much business travel anymore, but when I did I was working in aerospace, defence, and ocean technology. Jeff’s work is as a telecommunications consultant specializing in deploying new technologies in developing regions such as the Caribbean, Central and Latin America.
Deb: Do you have kids or pets? That can really affect your lifestyle with respect to frequent business travel.
Sharon: I have no kids. Jeff has two, but they’re now young adults. We have no pets, and few plants. When Jeff’s kids were younger it was more difficult schedule-wise. Now we just leave them money and a vehicle with a full tank of gas and we’re off!
Willemstad, Curaçao
Deb: How often does Jeff travel for business and how often do you tag along?
Sharon: His travel varies depending on the project, but lately it’s been four to six days, twice a month, which feels like a lot to me. If he’s going to be away for two weeks straight, I will try to meet him over the weekend either at his work location or somewhere in between.
Knowing when to tag along and when to stay behind
Deb: How do you decide when to tag along?
Sharon: Tagging along depends on many variables. I do contract work in small business development now so it depends on my workload. It depends on how heavy Jeff’s workload will be, the length of the trip, the value proposition of the airline points required. If, for example, it’s 60,000 Aeroplan points for four days and he’s working 10 hours a day, it’s not a good deal. Those points are much more valuable in February after a snow storm when he’s headed to somewhere like Turks and Caicos. Even if I’m going to be a lady on the beach by herself in that case, I’m still going! Then there are always those last-minute trips to Toronto before the end of the year in order to get enough miles in to maintain that Air Canada Super Elite status.
Deb: Oh yeah, I’ve been on some of those trips too, “Pack up honey, we’re taking a two-leg flight from Winnipeg to Calgary before Christmas.” It seems ridiculous!
Tagging along can mean being spoiled … or running for cover?
Deb: Do you have a favourite tag-along trip you’ve taken?
Sharon: My favourite tag-along experience so far, has to be Barbados. It’s spectacular! After a long rough winter in St. John’s, the chance to join Jeff for a short, but absolutely lovely five days was too good to pass up. We were very spoiled there as well. The client’s executive team driver met us at the airport in a shiny black BMW. We had a company SUV (Eeep! opposite side of the road driving!) and the manager’s hillside home for the long weekend. I don’t think Airbnb could touch this place. We toured the exclusive Crane Resort on the Atlantic side of the island, but kept retreating to a small public beach that was straight out of a deserted island novel, complete with white sand, two palm trees and a lone crab. We stayed there for three full days. The one rain day had us venturing to the country club to watch polo for the first time, where no one else seemed to know what was going on either. The food, wine and people were beyond fantastic.
Evening cruise in Key West, Florida
Deb: That sounds incredible. Definitely a picture of the more glamorous side of business travel. But every tag-along traveller usually has some not so great stories too. What’s yours?
Sharon: Believe it or not, it was during a trip to Orlando, which despite the touristy aspect, I love and have been many times. The trip started off great. It was our first introduction to taking Uber and we did a progressive appetizer and beverage tour at Disney Springs. The next day we headed out to the outlet mall to do a bit of shopping.
This trip took place shortly after a string of unfortunate local tragedies (the shooting death of singer Christina Grimmie, a toddler being killed by an alligator, and the Pulse Nightclub shooting). Obviously a time of heightened anxiety.
As we were shopping, all of a sudden people started screaming about a shooter in the complex. I cannot explain the pure mob hysteria and panic that went through the place. Mob mentality panic is very scary. People were screaming and running and shouting “duck, run, shooter!” What to do in this situation is not something you read about on any tourist website tip sheet. So we did run and duck and then ran again. In an irrational act that I can only justify as ingrained Canadian politeness, I couldn’t just dump my unpaid merchandise on the floor as I ran. Even in my haste, I laid them on a table that had just been cleared by someone actually sliding across its surface to hide behind it. It seemed unreal, but at the same time all too real. The situation turned out to have been a fist fight that knocked over a chair, which set off the panic. So we were never in danger, but the vivid feelings of it are still with me, even two months later.
Deb: Yikes, that sounds absolutely terrifying. What a crazy experience! That definitely would have turned even the best tag-along trip sour despite it being a false alarm. Of course, generally, tag-along travel is much less eventful than that. What do you think is the biggest perk of being with someone who travels a lot for business?
Sharon: Tagging along to see corners of the world you may never see on vacation, lots and lots of airline and hotel points to use on vacations and the excitement of seeing your honey return from a trip. It teaches you to make the most of and appreciate the time you have together whether at home or on the road.
Skiing at Marble Mountain, Newfoundland and Labrador
Coping when apart
Deb: Yeah, spending regular time apart does help to appreciate time together. Have you ever struggled with the amount of time you’ve had to spend apart?
Sharon: I’ve always been very independent and I thankfully have a great circle of friends and family so I don’t find it too bad. But it’s hard when he happens to be away for special events or something difficult happens. Jeff was away when my dad passed away. My family lives in another part of the province and I was home alone. Hugs and support are very important at times like those.
Deb: That’s very true. Sometimes it also seems that those times just always seem to happen when their away. The toilet breaks or some other crisis and it’s all on you to deal with.
Sharon: Yes, and of course even happy times when you’re at a party or event and he’s not there, it’s still fun, but you’re inevitably faced with the question, “Where’s Jeff?” Some of my friends used to call him “Mr. Snuffleupagus,” because they heard about him, but he was never really there.
Parting Advice – Don’t let resentment set in
Deb: What advice would you give to someone whose spouse just got a job that involves a lot of business travel?
Sharon: Everyone’s different and we have both travelled for business so we both know that it’s not always glamorous and fun. We were also more mature when we met so it might be different for a younger couple. I think the most important thing is to communicate A LOT. Use Skype, try to talk every day. Otherwise trust and resentment issues can crop up. Know there will be times you are going to feel lonely and surly about him or her being away. I will vent to Jeff about it now and again – just to vent and then it’s done. He gets frustrated sometimes too, but then when we’re in Turks and Caicos on points in March lying on the beach, it all seems worth it. It doesn’t need to have a negative impact on your relationship.
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