As we embark on a (hopefully) better year than the last one, many of us who set resolutions are staring reality in the face right about now. As we end the first week of 2021, we’re straining under new workout routines, trying to make it through the month without alcohol, or committing to eating more plant-based meals. Chances are, we won’t stick to these new habits beyond February. One resolution I made in 2017, though, has had remarkable staying power. I’ve been keeping a gratitude jar. It’s a powerful happiness hack backed by research, and resolving to set one up might be the easiest and best resolution you’ve ever undertaken.
After sharing a photo of our gratitude jar on social media this past New Year’s Eve, I got many positive comments and a few private messages asking about how it worked. The truth is, I started our jar a few years ago after I saw someone else tweet about theirs. I made one and came up with my own “rules.” I’m not sure if there is a right way to use it, but here are my tips based on our experience.
Find a big jar
We use a pickle jar and find that by year’s end, it’s pretty full with the contributions from the two of us. If you’re a family with several members contributing, you might need to empty it along the way to make room for more or using something larger.
Make it stand out
The first couple of years, our gratitude jar was very simple. I just washed out the pickle jar and slapped a label on it with the year. I plunked it on my kitchen counter. When my sister pointed out it was not very attractive, I agreed I could do better. I made a fancy label for my next jar and added general instructions: “Big or Small Good Things 2019.”
The title was a visual reminder that the items I put into my jar didn’t have to be monumental. Keeping it in the kitchen meant we’d see it every day, and that would prompt us to contribute frequently.
What to put in your gratitude jar
A gratitude jar is where you consciously recognize the many good things you have as part of your life. Our jar is usually full of travel experiences, but not everything is an “epic” entry. Sometimes it’s a comment about a fantastic evening we spent with friends. Other entries might be about the way the snow sparkles when illuminated by the streetlights outside our window. The thing is, no matter what kind of crappy day you might have had, there is always something good about it.
We keep a stack of small strips of scrap paper near the jar for recording our entries. I usually include the month of my contribution, and I fold it so that it’s not readable through the jar. We don’t have a rule or schedule for making entries. I decided against making one entry a day mandatory because I didn’t want it to become a chore. However, having that rule in place might be a good idea for others.
Review of the good things in the jar
When I set up our jar, it made sense to me that we would empty it once a year. There is no reason why you couldn’t review your entries monthly or weekly if you like.
Our gratitude jar has become part of our New Year’s Eve celebrations. We don’t look in the jar other than on this date. We empty the jar on the table and take turns reading them allowed. Usually, we end up having conversations about special memories. It’s always fun to see what Steve has written. Often we’ll refer to the same “good thing,” but not always. Sometimes something Steve’s done for me might not have seemed a big deal to him, and he’s surprised at what I’ve written and vice versa.
After we’ve reviewed the entries, we put them in an envelope and archive them. We start the new year with an empty jar and a new label.
This tradition is just a lovely way to tie up the year and appreciate the good fortune in your life. It’s a surprisingly simple act that has a significant impact on your perspective.
The benefits of the gratitude jar
Solid research has revealed that being mindfully grateful has significant benefits for our psychological and physical wellbeing. Those who regularly practice gratitude have higher levels of happiness, reduced stress and anxiety, and have better relationships, among other benefits.
Unlike making some life changes, such as embarking on a new diet or fitness regimen (worthy resolutions), increasing gratitude in your life is relatively easy. The simple act of noting one or two good things in your life a few times a week has enormous benefits. Why wouldn’t you do it?
We were amazed that even though there were many things to be sad and stressed about in 2020, our jar was still crammed. It helped us keep things in perspective while living through COVID-19 lockdowns and restrictions. I remember my jar entries the year my mom passed away following a tumultuous year trying to get her the help she needed. The jar was full of things that made a difference during that difficult time. It might have been a health care professional that took the time to sort out a problem for my mom or my network of friends who kept checking in with me. Gratitude can make going through stressful situations more manageable.
It’s much easier to focus on the negative things in our lives when we don’t actively practice gratitude, and that can spiral downward in a hurry. When we recognize the good stuff, we feel good and act better towards others. Sharing your gratitude with others who have made a difference in your life is another way to increase happiness and wellness. You cannot overestimate how powerful sharing an appreciative word with others can be.
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