Not everyone agrees that taking their spouse along on business travel is a good idea. Some people don’t want their spouses anywhere near them on business trips. Most companies allow spouse tag-along trips as long as it does not add any expense, but that policy is not universal. There are two sides to how both the business traveller and the corporate world feel about tagging along. I asked Tag Along Travel followers for their thoughts on whether spousal business travel is really a good idea.
Is spousal business travel really a good idea?
Obviously, Steve and I agree that having a spouse tag along on business travel is a good idea. It’s the premise of this blog, after all. But recently a reader sent me an email saying that he was keen on joining his spouse on business trips, but that her behaviour indicated that she was not. She never asked him to join her on a trip (he always had to suggest it), and according to the reader, his wife made little effort to spend time with him when he did tag along. After work hours, she chose to spend time socializing with her colleagues without him. According to the reader, his wife didn’t make an effort to include him with her colleagues. In the end, he resolved that tagging along didn’t work for them as a couple.
Spouses on business travel are a distraction
The reader’s wife is not alone. Tagging along is not for everyone. Some business travellers feel that business trips are for work and that having a significant other with them is a drain. That was the case for Jaclyn Goldman (who travels extensively for her sales job) when I interviewed her in 2015 about dating and business travel. If you’re in the early stages of a relationship where trust is just developing and time together is precious, business travel can present big challenges. As I’ve said many times, to be a happy tag-along traveller you have to be independent and prepared to explore destinations on your own. Your spouse is there to work, time together as a couple comes second, if at all.
Some companies frown on spouses tagging along
Some employers don’t want to encourage their business travellers to take their spouses with them. Sometimes that is because of a lack of trust that workers will use their time wisely if a spouse is with them on business travel. Frankly, this is a headscratcher for me. If your employee is not meeting productivity goals that is the issue to address. Your worker could choose to hang out sightseeing all day instead of attending meetings regardless of whether a spouse is there or not.
A Tag Along Travel twitter follower based in Europe offered a somewhat more compelling argument for why an employer would discourage spousal travel on business. The company he once worked for deemed the practice discriminatory to workers without spouses and to workers who do not travel as part of their job. My first response to this argument was “come on!” but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Tagging along is an employee benefit. However, some employees who must travel for work might view it as a downside to the job, and spousal travel as a way to offset that downside.
Anyway, the company had policies that discouraged the practice. If a spouse tagged along on business travel, the employee had to pay part of the hotel cost and the spouse could not be on the same plane ticket – they had to be ticketed independent from the business traveller. Apparently, taxation laws also play a role in this policy because if a spouse is on the same ticket, it isn’t deemed a business expense. At this place of employment, if you wanted her spouse with you on a business trip you had to jump over a few hurdles and keep it on the down-low.
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In favour of tagging along
As do I, road warriors who do have their spouse tag along on trips feel strongly about the advantages–personal and business.
Wendy Lee is a higher education fundraiser and also authors the blog Empty Nesters Hit The Road. She has frequently travelled for business, both domestically and internationally, and her husband has joined her many times. Beyond the advantage of being able to explore local sites together after work hours, Wendy thinks there are work-related advantages as well. “Often he joins me for business dinners which gives my clients a nice opportunity to get to know more about me,” she says. Having worked in fund development myself, I understand the importance of relationship building with donors and prospects. I agree with Wendy that introducing a spouse in this kind of business situation can pave the way for a deeper positive connection.
Michael Demmons from the blog The Round The World Guys takes his partner with him on work travel whenever possible for the opposite reason. One of the advantages he cites is that it gives him an out when it comes to after-work functions. He states, “While I enjoy occasionally attending my work’s so-called ‘optional’ evening team building functions, I can say that Halef is with me and we’re going out to explore the city.” Michael says that if he’s travelling alone and opts out he is perceived as the “bad” employee but having Halef there gives him a valid excuse to opt out. Hmmm, is this an argument in favour of the no-tag along company policy?
Which side are you on?
Apart from employers who distrust their employees to get work done when it comes to spouses on business travel, I can appreciate the arguments both for and against tagging along. In our situation, Steve and I see nothing but advantages. Tagging along is better for our marriage, it enhances relationship building with business colleagues, and it reduces the stress that comes with frequent business travel. It is a perk because I do not pay a portion of the hotel room, although we keep all other expenses separate. I love tagging along despite knowing full well that depending on the work engagement, I may see very little of Steve during the trip. Although he likes it better when we can spend more time together during work travel, he feels zero guilt about me being on my own if that turns out to be the case. That’s just part of the deal.
Is business travel a part of your relationship? What side are you on Team Tag Along or Team Solo Business Trip?
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It depends on the trip. If I know my husband will be in meetings or conference sessions all day and at dinner with colleagues in the evening, I usually don’t go along. However, at some conferences, he’s free for dinner every night or we have dinner with work friends. I enjoy meeting his colleagues and they either seem to enjoy meeting me or to at least, not be annoyed by my presence. Asia is one place where it’s a little odd because it’s usually just men at work dinners without their spouses. I’m fine spending time on my own, even for meals. I’m a travel blogger so that helps. We usually try to tack some vacation time onto work trips to interesting places in the world—like New Zealand, South Africa, Singapore and Australia. When I was a lawyer, my husband tagged along on exactly one business trip with me. It was a Social Security lawyers’ conference. My husband had no trouble entertaining himself during the day, but I invited him to join me and some colleagues/ work friends for dinner. For some reason, he didn’t enjoy dining with 10 Social Security lawyers. I cant imagine why. 😉 When we travel, I usually make it a point to meet up with a local travel blogger at some point.
Suzanne, it sounds like we have similar tag-along styles. If the location of the business travel is somewhere I really want to go I will tag along regardless of how much time Steve will have to spend with me. But generally, if he’s tied up virtually allo f the time, I’ll take a pass. Your husband obviously found one social security lawyer interesting. 😉
Interesting perspectives. I suspect that companies who discourage or forbid spouses from accompanying employees on business trips are concerned that the employee and particularly the spouse may not understand what you accept as part of the terms – you may see very little of your spouse and when you do, he/she may have very little energy left. When I travelled for business, the days were often long. In situations where the travel is as part of a team, evening dinners are important for building the team relationship and continuing business discussions. You can skip out once in a while, but not always. Personally I see no issue with a spouse going along on a business trip if they are prepared to be independent. I would also encourage finding time to spend together in at least some of the evenings. People need breaks from work, even when travelling on business.
We agree totally, Donna. Also, as a spouse, when you do attend a business/team dinner you have to be prepared for more business talk than socializing. Get to know your partner’s sector–it makes it more enjoyable.