Travel is an enlightening experience, a window to other cultures, and an opportunity to get out of one’s comfort zone. In no other aspect of travel are these sentiments truer than when you need to use the toilet in a foreign land.
I’ve forgotten the street or neighbourhood names of places we’ve stayed. My travel memory is often foggy when it comes to great restaurants we’ve dined in or common regional dishes. But, when it comes to the various toilets of the world, I remember it all with astonishing detail.
Bladder the size of a 4-week-old puppy
Part of the reason I’m tuned into toilets is because I pee a lot. Steve says that by the time he dies, he will have spent several years waiting for me outside the women’s loo. I have tried to reframe this several times:
“You know, if we’re ever in an emergency situation that requires the instant production of urine, you will be so glad that I can pretty much pee at any given moment!”
His response:
“What kind of emergency situation would that be?”
Whatever. I prefer to believe that my body is like a finely tuned racecar that needs precision maintenance to run at peak performance.
To squat or not to squat?
Nothing feels more luxurious—more decadent than peeing using a western toilet after having to use a squat toilet a few times. The first time I encountered one when visiting Taiwan I was wearing a skirt thankfully (much easier). I was attending a conference on this trip so visited the same public washroom several times. It wasn’t until the third or fourth visit that I discovered that some of the stalls had western toilets. Good lord! I realized that this meant some people preferred a squat toilet. Go figure.
Peeing is a human right
In Canada, there is no such thing as a pay toilet. At least, I have never come across one. You may feel the need to purchase a pack of gum at the gas station before popping into its grimy biffy, but that would be your own conscience getting the better of you. Coming from the land of the free-pee, I was really surprised to discover that there are tons of world-class cities that require you to pay up before sitting on the porcelain throne.
After arriving in Denmark in the early hours after a ferry ride from the Faroe Islands, I neglected to “go” before disembarking. We were in Denmark for just a few hours before taking a train to Berlin. The public toilets were of the pay variety. We had no Danish krone (stupid). I was screwed. Nothing was even open for business yet so getting some change was not going to happen any time soon—certainly not soon enough for me. We found unlocked doors at a small shopping mall. Although all of the shops were still dark, I found the washroom and hoped against hope. Nope, they were pay toilets. Damn! In desperation I tried each locked door. Miracle of miracles, one was open! Sweet relief.
My position on pay toilets? Peeing is a human right. We should all be able to pee for free.
What don’t you understand about NO PAPER?
In countries where waste management infrastructure is less hearty (e.g., Central America), you are not supposed to flush toilet paper. You throw it into a designated can next to the toilet. Makes sense. It’s an interesting experiment in the power of habit. When you’ve been flushing paper from the time you were toilet trained, flushing is about as habitual as breathing. I’m constantly mortified at my inability to not flush the paper. I usually catch on a few days before the end of our trip. Thankfully, there has never been a mishap … as far as I know. I usually bolt out of the can as soon as I realize what I’ve done, again.
Lights out!
If you’re not aware of light sensors in a great many of the toilets in parts of Europe, the first time throws you for a loop. There you are, doing your thing in the W.C. and in the blink of an eye, it’s pitch dark. What the what? Of all the times for a power outage. A moment or two later someone else enters the room and the lights are back on. Ah ha! After awhile you learn to flail your arms as though you’re about to take flight when the motion sensor kicks in. So crazy.
Bidets rock!
When I was a kid, my best friend had a bidet at her house. I had never seen one before. Her parents were immigrants from Italy and obviously brought a European sensibility with them to their new lives in frosty Canada. I could never figure out why they had an extra “sink” and final asked my friend. I was amazed, and a bit weirded out.
After being furnished with my very own bidet in various European hotels and vacation rentals, I am a convert. If you’re a North American type who is daunted by the whole thing, take a look at this WikiHow video and it will sort you out. Bidets rock!
And the winner for the swankiest toilets – Japan!
Now, I haven’t travelled to every corner of the earth (yet!), but the award for THE BEST toilets in the world goes to Japan. This piece of technological genius pictured below was in my room at the Hotel Century Southern Tower. At the press of a button you could deodorize the toilet, heat the seat, and deploy endless variations of sprays adjusting for position and water pressure for your post-deposit hygiene. All in one, sweet unit. Incredible!
If you have a better toilet story than any of the ones above, I want to hear it. Even if it’s a so-so story, please share.
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The first time you use a Japanese toilet it feels stgrnae, but you get used to it quickly. Actually a majority of toilets you will use in Japan (except in old buildings and schools) are western style or have the option of a Western style toilet. Your choice is either the Japanese style squat type or the western type with a lot of buttons that do stgrnae things.
I love the high tech Japanese toilets.
[…] life lottery by being born in Canada with the freedoms and standard of living it provides. Also, toilets are amazing in Japan and we should all aspire to that level of […]
My favourites are the ones with washroom attendants. Toronto and New York – in upscale department stores. But you do need to tip the attendant!! Am I dating myself!!
Yes, I’ve come across a few attendants, but not so much recently. Hard not to tip when they hand you a towel.
Hi, love this article 🙂 My mum’s funniest toilet-experience was somewhere in China. At the beginning of the 80s my parents belonged to the first private travellers in China, and one day on their round trip she had to pee. And found two rows of toilets facing eachother and without doors. All the Chinese women stared at her, just to see if a European woman pees like a Chinese 🙂 My mother laughed tears, and now all these women think that European people laugh while peeing……
That’s a terrific story Sabine. No doors! I have not come across that situation. Your mum sounds like a hearty traveller.
I used one of these toilets in Amsterdam! It isn’t far away. I still think it’s a litlte silly given the studies that have gone into the sanitary nature of public restrooms but I think they’re cool anyway. It’ll make a bathroom attendent’s job that much easier!